話說有一次諸葛亮、劉備、孫權、曹操四人同乘飛機，突然遇到緊急情況，需要跳傘逃生。

這時候才發現機上只剩下三個降落傘包。

大家一陣緊張，這時只見諸葛亮搖搖羽毛扇、清清嗓子說：“這樣吧，山人出幾道題，能答上來的，就跳傘，答不上來的只好自己跳下去了。

其他人沒辦法只好同意。

 

諸葛亮再搖了搖羽毛扇問劉備：“  天上有幾個太陽  ？  ”劉備一想，簡單，回答：“一個。”

於是拿了個傘包下去了。諸葛亮再問孫權：“  天上有幾個月亮  ?  ”

孫權回答：“  一 個  ”他也拿了個傘包下去了。

最後輪到曹操。

諸葛亮問：“  天上有幾個星星  ？  ”曹操一怔，懵了！得，回答不上來，只好自己跳下去了。

沒想到竟然跳在了海裡，撿回一條命，曹操暗自慶倖。

　　

 

 

第二次又四個人坐飛機遇到緊急情況，四人一商量，得，還是老辦法吧。

諸葛亮又搖起羽毛扇問劉備：“  當年周武王 戰勝紂王的那場戰役是  ？  ”

劉備一想，簡單，回答：“  牧野之戰。  ”

諸葛亮點點頭，於是劉備拿了個傘包下去了。

諸葛亮再問孫權：“  那場戰役死了多少人  ？  ”

孫權 想了想說：“  大概有三四萬  。  ”

諸葛亮點點頭，孫權拿了個傘包也下去了。

曹操不禁偷笑想：“  諸葛亮呀諸葛亮，本人可是貫古通今，尤其是軍事，這次你可是栽 了。  ”

只見諸葛亮問：“  戰士們都叫什麼名字？  ”

曹操一聽差點沒暈過去，只好自己跳下去了，沒想到竟然又跳在了海裡，撿回一條命，曹操暗自笑。

　　

 

 

 

第三次同樣四個人坐飛機，飛機又遇到緊急情況，曹操一想，諸葛老兒又要整我，乾脆我自己跳下去算了，免受侮辱。

 

於是一橫心，跳了下去，在空中高速下降中,只聽得上面諸葛亮對他喊：

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ 孟德，今天飛機上有四個降落傘！ ”

Dog’s Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11: 00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
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Cat’s Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
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